The Mental Load of Birthday Parties

(Are you noticing a trend here?)

Teddy’s turns 5 tomorrow and we’re having a *very small* party for him this weekend (he only wanted 3 specific friends and I’m honoring that, ha!).

As I was making my party to-do list earlier this week, I remembered this old subscriber comic that I made before his party last year…I wish I could report that one year later, things have changed in the party department, but sadly, just yesterday Ben asked me, “What time is Teddy’s party again?” (SERIOUSLY!).

Soooooo I guess some things get better and some things stay the same. Sigh.

Every year I want to simplify the kids’ birthdays and not do them at our house and yet somehow, every year I continue to do the same thing because it’s what the kids want and it makes them so happy (and because, despite all of the work, I kind of like doing it!).

Also: What’s it like knowing that your son’s birthday is tomorrow and you haven’t done a goddamn thing for it? How can you go to bed the night before your child’s birthday without having bought him a gift or even wondered if he’ll be getting any gifts “from his parents”? How does it feel to just assume that a cake or cupcake (and candle) will simply appear on your son’s birthday so you can all sing happy birthday and make him feel loved? WHAT IS THAT LIKE!?!?!

I wonder how much more mental space I’d have if I wasn’t thinking about making invitations and buying party favors + decorations and whether or not it will be too hot in the bouncy house and if so, what can I do to help the kids cool off?

I know that taking on these kinds of tasks are a choice (to an extent—I mean, I could opt out of having birthday parties for the kids if I wanted to…) so I’m not totally blaming Ben here, but I am saying that these are the kinds of caretaking/kid-related tasks that in most families, mom is handling, and these kinds of tasks in addition to the mental load that she’s already carrying for the family are one of the many reasons moms always feel so overwhelmed and frazzled.

But you already knew that, didn’t you? I’m guessing that’s why you’re here and that *perhaps* you can relate?

ANYHOOPERS, happy almost-birthday to Teddy and happy real birthday to my bff Laura and anyone else whose bday is today!

Off to work and plan and make all of the lists and YOU KNOW…

xoxo,
Mary Catherine