First, a word about my 2023 laundry journey (in case you missed it on Instagram):
2023 Was the year I decided to do something about the laundry problem in our household. First, I tried outsourcing it (I sent it out to be washed, folded, + returned), but that didn’t solve our problem because it’s not the washing of the laundry that’s the issue in our house—it’s the folding and putting away.
Next, I decided I was going to find someone to come over to our house to fold + put away our clean laundry…and I did! She was great! But then after about a month, she ghosted me. Or maybe she died*? Did our laundry kill her? I really hope that’s not the case but one will never know…
After I was ghosted, I took a moment to lick my wounds and then, like the true Laundry Warrior™ that I am, I went on care.com and found YET ANOTHER Laundry Goddess (what I’ve been calling her because that’s what she is); this Laundry Goddess has now been folding + putting away our laundry (AND tackling other random household organization projects) since August. She comes every week and she just might be one of my favorite people on this big ol’ laundry-filled planet.
Bottom line: outsourcing the final few steps of our laundry was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2023. Yes, it is a total privilege to be able to do this and I am fully aware of that, but I will gladly forgo ordering takeout a few extra times per month in order to pay our Laundry Goddess. She’s 100% worth it for my sanity.
[Btw: you deserve a Laundry Goddess/God, too. We all do!]
Now, a word about being angry:
2023 Has also been the year that I’ve had to learn how to be okay with being publicly angry. As Taylor Swift says, “No one likes a mad woman,” and it’s true—being angry isn’t considered ladylike or socially-acceptable for women, even when it’s righteous anger. [I think the only time it’s “okay” for a woman to be publicly angry is when she’s protecting her children, aka being a “Mama Bear,” because that’s seen as a part of her job as a mother.]
But over this past year I’ve come to realize that I am angry at how women and mothers are treated in our society. And because I have a social media account focused on the challenges of motherhood and marriage, I get a lot of messages from equally-fed up women that fan the flames of my anger.
For instance, on Christmas Day, I posted this picture of Ben’s ridiculous gift-wrapping job, because I think it’s SO HORRIBLE that it’s hilarious:
[For the record, the way this gift was wrapped did not make me angry. Is it annoying that Ben didn’t put more effort into making my gift look even somewhat presentable? Sure. But we’ve been together for 18 years, so by now I’m pretty used to his crappy gift-wrapping skillzzz.]
In response to this pic, my followers started sending me funny stories about the ways in which their husbands “wrapped” their gifts (tin foil, a paper towel, a Goodwill bag, in the box it came in, etc.) and I started sharing their stories because I thought they were hilarious, too.
But then I started getting sad messages from moms who got nothing, or whose partners forgot about them and didn’t even feel bad about it (or worse, were mean when their wives said something about it!) and that’s when I started getting angry.
Women all over the world are being forgotten about during the holidays and THIS IS NOT OKAY. It’s not about getting a gift—it’s about feeling seen, cared for, appreciated, loved, known. And when I hear from women whose otherwise completely competent partners aren’t making them feel this way, I get angry on their behalf. And this is righteous, justified anger! The hundreds of messages that I get each month are proof that we have a long way to go until women are seen as full people whose invisible labor and care work is acknowledged and valued.
So yeah, I’m angry. It feels bad to say this (UGH!!) but it’s the truth. And now that I know this about myself (and have accepted it and said it aloud), my goal is to harness this anger and use it for good.
How? Well, for a start I’m going to keep raising awareness of these inequalities (through my comics and this newsletter) and hope that my work both inspires more women to start speaking up for themselves and inspires more men to look inward or speak up on behalf of the women in their lives who they see being taken advantage of, mistreated, or under-appreciated.
Feeling angry, too? Let’s make 2024 the year we use our anger to inspire real change. And as we all know, change starts at home (for better or worse).
Happy last few days of 2023, friends!
xo,
Mary Catherine
*This is a joke but if she really did die I will feel HORRIBLE for saying this. Utterly horrible!!!
Btw: starting the week of January 8th, my weekly newsletters (like this one) will go behind a paywall and free subscribers will get just 1 new comic newsletter per month. See below for more info on my different subscriber tiers + what you get with each tier…
FREE SUBSCRIBERS ($0/month) get access to:
1 new exclusive autobiographical comic per month (not shared to IG!)
Monthly newsletter containing curated lists of the simple pleasures that are bringing me joy (formerly #simplejoysoftheweek for OGs!)
PAYING SUBSCRIBERS ($5/month or $55/year) receive all of the above AND:
4 new exclusive, autobiographical comics per month (1 per week, none of which are shared elsewhere)
Q&As and community conversations (in the comment section of the newsletters + beyond!)
My gratitude! Because being a subscriber means that you believe in me and my work and that means the world to me.
*Hopefully starting in February, 2024: 1 podcast per month!*
FOUNDING MEMBERS ($150/year) receive all of the above AND:
A 10” x 10” print of any of my 1-panel comics that speak to you–I’ll even customize the hair color + skin color so it looks more like you!
This option is designed for people who want to support my work at the highest level and for that, I am so, so, so thankful!
It’s okay to be angry! Empty nester here. I know. I remember. Allow it. Full throttle. But then after about 5 or 10 minutes, say B’bye. That’s my unprovoked advice.
Love the laundry goddess. We should all have one. She sounds divine.
Lack of care because you’re gift is not wrapped properly? I’m sorry, I don’t hold wrapping to be a signifier of anything except one’s own folding and taping skills. I admit I wrap gifts like your husband. I just throw in some tissue paper at the top. Who says a gift must be wrapped properly? I sometimes just give people the Amazon box containing the gift and ask my kids to color the outside. I am a mother who still gets invited to birthday parties lol. Also I’ve outsourced the putting away of laundry too in 2023 and it makes me so grateful to know I’m not the only one!