The Mental Load of Bedtime Snuggles
Yeah, I know, it's YET ANOTHER post about bedtime...#sorrynotsorry
Studies* show that when the non-default parent puts the kids to bed it will go 95% more smoothly than usual and everyone will fall asleep quickly…because EVIDENTLY the kids only take hours to fall asleep when the parent they’re snuggling with is the one they’re most comfortable with. Which makes ZERO sense and really, just feels like it’s all a ploy to make moms’ lives that much harder.
*And by studies, I mean what I’ve observed in our household.
Does this happen in your family, too? It’s BEYOND maddening. I mean, I’m really glad they go right to sleep with Ben (and with babysitters!) but can someone throw a tired mom a sleep bone? Please…?
Btw: I realize that my past few newsletters have been sleep or bedtime-related (or adjacent) and honestly, #sorrynotsorry. Because early motherhood—for me—has been all about sleep:
Trying to get it. Not getting it. Worrying about the kids getting enough. Worrying about myself getting enough. Thinking about (obsessing about) sleep schedules. And bedtimes. And naptimes. And early wake-ups. And bad dreams and wet beds in the middle of the night and ugh, I know it’s so boring but I can’t stop talking about it because I’m tired of being tired—and because despite our kids being almost 8 and almost 5, we’re still dealing with lots of sleep stuff. SNOOZE.
Anyway, I’ll move on to another topic next week. I promise ;)
xoxo,
Mary Catherine
PS. This month’s podcast episode (in which Ben and I talk about these kinds of topics) comes out tomorrow! Want to listen to it? Make sure you’re a paid subscriber:
I have the mom guilt of having never snuggled my oldest to sleep. I had PPD and honestly struggled bonding with him—something that feels like it’s still around to this day—and I have a ton of guilt/shame about that. He was never a snuggly baby but I also never tried to really snuggle because I was not in a place to do that. And now he’s almost 8 and I’m afraid I’ve somehow ruined our relationship forever 😮💨 which I know is silly, but still. So while I am grateful that I did not go through this pre-bedtime snuggle struggle, I’m also a little sad. But who knows what will happen with my much snugglier 6 month old? 🤣
Our battle is about getting the kiddo to just STAY IN BED. Also, overnight wake ups where she politely knocks on the door to get our attention. I mean, I'm glad she's not just barging and staring at me but IT'S 3AM! STOP WAKING ME UP AT 3AM!